TOP 5: RANTY RANTS
I haven’t done the blog in a few weeks, I was in the midst of trying to figure out wtf with website and didn’t want to add more content when I wasn’t sure what I was doing. But here we are again. Not better, not worse. You may have noticed I have changed things over to BRIEKOLE.COM, and while it was a challenging pivot, I’m feeling actually great about it. I relish the chance to reign in my focus and not try to reinvent the wheel all the time, then find out there’s not an audience to support it. With my focus on my alcohol “alchy” ink paintings, home decor and earrings, things are feeling a little more settled. Now I just need to sell it! For now, word of mouth is my hero, so if I’ve ever supported your endeavors, you like what I’m up to, you want to enrich your life with unique items...SHOP please! And then tell your friends, post on soosh meeds (TAG @YOBRIEKOLE), and know that you’re part of making a difference in my life.
1. STATE OF OUR UNION
I’ve had loads of thoughts and ideas for today’s blog, but as I sit to write it I go blank. There’s nothing incredibly coherent pacing through my mind at the moment. As the world continues to be on fire with a pandemic, civil uprisings (one reasonable the other not even close), bald face domestic terrorism (having flash backs of terror threat level gauges, hayyyy Dubya (W)), 2nd Impeachment with GOP still propping up this socipath man baby, people continuing to live normal life as the ever evolving COVID strains get somehow MORE contagious! Society you betta get your shit together. That we have a vaccine and cases are still skyrocketing should be a pretty loud indicator we're nowhere near out of this and I hope that trip home for xmas with your shitty family was worth it. I’m mad. I have a shell of a life, I’m not like amped about that. But it’s the ONLY responsible and safe thing to be doing. Newsflash you find a way to cope, pivot and find small joy. I’d rather live a safe proactive life than one with willful ignorance and no consideration for others. Also vaccines for teachers & service industry!
2. ANSWERING THE CALL
I have always had a voracious appetite for other peoples stories. I realized it’s likely why I love gossip so much. I feel like it gives me insight to people. From the person dishing as well as the subject of the dishing. While wildy subjective and potentially wholly inaccurate...what can I say, it really fills a need in me. So as my connections and interactions are increasingly different these days (‘20-’21 you know the deal) the gossip just doesn’t quite hit as indulgently. And then I find myself craving people’s stories instead. I was granted a truly lovely moment recently, that I just continue to savor, reflect on and enjoy. It was a simple call from a friend that I haven’t talked to since moving from St.Pete in 2012. It’s really brought up a lot for me, I think of this friend, Kumjo, OFTEN but still hadn’t taken that simple impetus to just fucking call her. She was a formative connection for me, and also I credit her significantly for my gossip streak! She always (& still) has tabs on everyone and in our hour long call she really indulged me! ::Chef’s Kiss::
3. STORYTIME
I’m also a total SUCKER for nostalgia. Maybe you hadn’t noticed? This call soothed me in so many ways, and these fucking days, I sure needed that. It’s just nothing looks like it used to, so I’m slowly leaning into that being AWESOME actually. BUT also to amble around to my point --STORIES! I want them ALLLLLLLL. & I’ll also want to be able to ask a lot of questions. I like to see it all in my head, I want to have the full experience of stories. Small stories, dumb stories, family stories, travel stories, friend stories, PET stories, heartache stories, nature stories!
4. LOVE IS A CHOICE
Now more than ever I want some vicarious living and a renewed connection to friends, family and chosen fam. With that renewal is also embedded a sort of litmus test. So many of my relationships this year have changed or been let go. I’m a giver, I can’t fucking help it, I trust way too easily and this often leads to an inequality in my realtionships. This past year to present my health’s been on the line, it’s become impossible for me to live the way I have been (ie: unequal relationships & pandemic). It’s been again, kind of awesome though. It’s like I’m finally able to see things and people without my giver, truster, peacemaker glasses on. It’s so fucking freeing! I’ve never had issue cutting people out of my life that no longer feel right/healthy for me. Self preservation. Because of my innate nature I’m pretty rife for attracting hurt people who continue the cycle…#fuckboisbeeverywhere
I really needed this vantage point. So, I’m thinking that pals/fam that can hear this and are down, those are my true people. No shade or shame either to those that don’t feel this, or don’t actually feel me, family or otherwise ya know? We don’t have to like everyone, and news flash we don’t and won’t, let’s be fucking cool & real with that! Blood means nada to me, I’m pretty estranged from most of my family, and the family I’m not estranged from is strained, so seeking any validation or reciprocity from blood is like not a fucking thing, so I’m not gonna feel bad about it anymore. It is what it is, I can’t make it different, but I can allow myself FEEL differently. So I will!
I simply want to spend my time and resources with people that feel mutually about me as I do them. Sharing stories, having virtual connections, just commiserating...
So if there’s anything I learned from 2020 & Bridgerton, LOVE IS A CHOICE PEOPLE!
Let’s start to make better choices for ourselves and those we CHOOSE to love. Spoiler, sometimes the better choice might be to let them go.
5. ALWAYS WITH THE VOID SCREAM
I guess my vibe today (as most days tbh) is RANTY! I know this hasn’t been a traditional TOP 5, but to you my 3 dear readers, I hope you’re cool with deviation from the norm, cause that’s all I’ll ever be.
RECAP:
Check out BRIEKOLE.COM
Shop if you are able
Indulge me with STORIES (& games)
If you’re into it
Holler, we can virty indulge
Or we can play games or karaoke
No one is excited to stay home, but it’s what we can do to curb the spread of ‘RONA in it’s more and more contagious continuation.
I’m here doing it
I like to make time for those I care about
You are not alone in doing the right, but not easy or fun thing.
Screaming into the void, while feels futile tbh, is also a nice outlet pour moi. But any indication that people read this is most SUPREMELY WELCOME.
Adios ya’ll, see you at karaoke club.
