TOP 5: HOLIDAZE
I’M CRAZY FOR THE HOLIDAYS! The music, the decor, the MOVIES! This year the fever has been a bit late to hit me. I staved off watching any holiday movies until my xmas movie advent cal (follow @yobriekole stories for the daily watch) kicked off Dec 1. Now that I’m in the swing-ish, it’s feeling good-ish. I have to admit that while I knew 2020 XMAS would be hella diff, my life, despite the pandemic is also really diff. Which is actually my fave thing right now. But reconciling all this, with so many people thinking they are the exception and being “safe” while face to face touching & singing with three other unmasked humans not of the same household…WOOF! Celebrating feels futile. And I keep realizing it’s going to be hard to be friends with some people after this is over…
So lest we let other people’s shitty AF choices affect our lives more than we can help, LEZ amp ourselves up and sleigh ride right into this:
1. SNOWED IN | ‘97 HANSON, DUH.
This MADE me. I used to listen to this christmas comfort crooning YEAR. ROUND. I couldn’t get enough. See exhibit A. Where my HANSON FANS @?!!!!! I REALLY wanted to include the SNL sketch with Hanson, Helen Hunt & Will Ferrel. Where in they (Helen & Will) trap Hanson in an elevator and subject them to MMMBop on a loop for an indefinite amount of time. Needless to say Tay is the only one unfazed and it. ::Spoiler Alert:: (not that you can find it anyway, but if you CAN PLZ holler @me ASAP!) It ends with Helen taking matters into her own gun wielding hands as Will has passed into the Hanson camp of finding the innate depth and joy in the ::seemingly:: nonsensical mantra of mmmbop. (READ THE LYRICS YO! It’s DEEP AF — obvi this was one of my cornerstone points to my Hanson plights for validation & rightful recognition as top tier musicians). Growing up & out has made it impossible for me to carry this torch for them as I once did, buuuuuuttttt for xmas: Hanson & Mariah get ALLL my love!
2. HIGH HOLIDAY CARD WRITING
Bear with me, I just lost the epic ramble I was really attached to. How is there not auto save SQUARESPACE?! Black baby jesus! ::SCREAMS INTO THE UNENDING VOID OF 2020!!!!!!::
Writing high (bong rips for me) holiday cards will give you a fun festive way to show loved ones how you’ve been coping-- through this unprecedented but very revealing time in our human history. Here’s a preview of how it went for me, and #nevergoingback ya’ll!
I kicked off with bebe’s first xmas. I’m an “auntie” who loves xmas and squeezing bebe’s, so it feels like an important lean in/ precedent setting. By the end of what looked like a fucked up xmas manifesto/breakdown in a cute sleeping puppies in santa hats card, I have my doubts bebe will ever see this card. FAIR tho! However in my 2020 hanging by thread defense, as I embarked on writing said card I had just irrefutably learned that one of my favorite cousins (sharer of a formative xmas in ‘96!) is a vote fraud-er & you guessed it def voted for that joke of a man domestic terrorist...WHOA YA’LL him & the GOP should be considered terrorists! Right?! (Really the whole system, I DIGRESSSSS tho). Woof, my ramble sentences, thanks for staying with this. Other people would maybe revisit the card, NOT ME. Besides I think giving this year & holiday season as much context as possible can only help the future. I need bebe to know what the code of conduct is for this crew, start ‘em EARLY!
TOP REC — find out how you really feel about it all when you give into the thrill of the HIGH unknown of your own existential crisis holiday greetings, courtesy of 2020 the year that keeps on GIVING!
3. HAROLD PERRINEAU| ROMEO + JULIET SDTRK
1996. Baz Lurhuman. #ICONIC soundtrack. Sexy holiday lewk and performance of Harold Perrineau as Mercutio?! Even in my youth, the BLACK drag gender non subscribing spectacularness of this ::1,000 chef’s kisses:: really spoke to my soul. ‘96 xmas was a really formative one for me and the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack and No Doubt Tragic Kingdom were both fueling and assauging my teen angst, holiday, family in transition vibes.
Music during this period was my life line. It gave me tangible and relatable media, that I could consume on repeat, thanks to MTV and my trusty record-able VHS tapes and VCR, audio tapes & CD’s. Those days were weird and really suited me just fine. I think this time period started me considering my place in the world, in relation to my family and what that actually means for what I want. I’m pretty thrilled with my ‘96-’98 self to my 2020 self. #SELFWEGOTTHIS #EVENWHENITFEELSAWFUL
4. THE FAMILY STONE
This a real butthole clencher, but it brings me a lot of holiday comfort and representation (personally, it’s still v.wyt). I look forward to watching them see each other and finding a better way to be family. Showing accountability and that familial love is an investment in understanding that isn’t conditional, even for Meredith. It warms my cold heart in a special way that’s more tequila shot & bong rip than hot coco & sugar cookies. It’s clear I’ll never celebrate holidays that same after 2020, and I’m really cool with that actually. I like finding a deeper meaning for my holiday self. In lieu of my favorite part, where Meredith is given “permission” to let her freak flag fly, by the character that is able to see her through all her tightly wound shit…here’s the ever special moment where Meredith let’s her hair down and decides that she can play this “game” too. HOLD THE PHONE!
5. PRINCESS TEAGAN WOO | CHRISTMAS IGGY DREAM PUP
The ABSOLUTE JOY of my life! We found each other in the Christmas of 2007. I had gone through another bad break up with a girl who just wasn’t that into me, but had been stringing me along, and I was too smitten to see things for what they were.
I had started looking at french bulldog rescues and then stumbled across Rocket Angel Italian Greyhound Rescue in Cape Coral, FL. There were a few listed online and I was able to go and meet the available rescues. The lil girl one I had been interested in had been spoken for and there were a few older boi rescues, but none of us had a connection. I was readying to leave and asking the rescue lady to let me know if any other pups came through and she said, “we do have this one we just got three hours ago…” she opened the door and in full prance princess mode, Koda (former name) emerged! It was instantaneous, this creature and I belonged together. The proprietor made some comment about Teagan being a little on the ::shaky hand gesture:: side, #PERFECTION!
#Everthinginitsrightplace shit really happens for reasons we cannot fathom but turn out to be transcendent miracles like Princess Teagan Woo! That year was an unconventional xmas too, I remember it in fragmented pieces of making out with (another) ex’s college pal in dark club corners, getting a tat from afore mentioned ex (ya know 20’s lez stuff at it’s best) and toting Teagan Woo around in bags with blankets everywhere I went. (This was before emotional support pups, so we got kicked out of most the places we tried to go.) This xmas was characterized by touch of sadness with unexpectedly fun romp with semi known stranger, new adorable pup side kick and chocolate stout at New World in Ybor. Independent 20 something living out a totally nontraditional holiday with a new Italian greyhound pup, #RAD.
Our lives have changed a lot over the years. Teagan and I now have a more steady life, with a partner/zaddy that actually likes us and treats us well. We might be cold AF most of the time and only have 2ish months of summer, but this trifecta is the shit, and I’ll take all the shitty fuckbois and poor life choices I made in the twents to be HERE!
HAPPIEST XMAS TO MY PINNACLES OF COOL, Bb & Teaggie. I love you both more than I ever could have fathomed. Thank you for “permission” to let my freak flag(s) FLY. A. LOT.
Let’s make XMAS weird, queer & fun from here on out! If we’ve learned anything this year, it’s that everyone is just making it up as we go. The laws & systems in place are racist and outdated. We are freed from continuing indoctrinated, racist and intolerant holiday traditions!
We will forge our own paths, rooted and invested in honoring of authentic cultures, leading with empathy, compassion and an innate desire to do better and be better. Finding true pleasure from our lives, connections and celebrations. Removing the stress, boundary oversteps and obligation from all that we do.
Here is my xmas wish for you dear reader: that one day soon we will be breathing carefree in a dank lil dive bar like the Emerald, sitting real close, doing karaoke, knowing the place is free from racists, terrorists, and our world is being run by Indigenous, Black, and women of color. Humanity and the caring of it and the environment is as cool as it gets, and everyone is doing it. Without fail, without issue!
Also I really want some TRANS XMAS MEDIA - holler if you got some recs!
