TOP 5: 4 MY 1997 SELF, SHIT YOU’D BE PROUD OF:
Since xmas ‘20 I’ve been on this mission to do things inspired by my younger self, my formative self, my ‘97 era self. Since then I’ve also encountered others on the same wavelength, which feels like a big nostalgic hug from the universe & collective unconscious. RAD. Get out your JNCOs, SPICEWORLD vhs and let’s deep dive into adulting in 2021 through’97 13 y/o tiny glasses.
1. MY MTHRFCKIN WARDROBE!
Complete with costume collection (like #dreamlife)! + Abilities to dream, pattern and sew up whatever in a snap (ex: AAHHH! Real Monsters soft fleece dress, above) and I have the right tools for every job. ‘97 me would be HELLA impressed! Not only that, but once I’m vaxed photoshoot dreams can be a thing again (like IRL Barbies & dress up but intersectional). AND with hologram rollerskates otw I’ve become all my childhood dreams of an adult self, and we’re only at 1 on this list!
2. TEAGANWOO & Bb & HOME
So I was never the kid planning for a life of marriage & babies. When my big sis and I played Barbies I was lez-ing those Barbies out, scissoring them like mad. Playing “House” and with American Girl Dolls I always adopted and stayed single… well not with Mr. Imaginary anyway. My younger self’s vision for our future wasn’t inaccurate. In fact this longing that I always had for dressing up and cuddling & squeezing tiny animals found it’s sate (can it be used like that?!) in my Princess Teagan Woo.
The companionship partnership I’ve always craved is sated (correct use) in my relationship with Bb, unexpected but radder than I could have imagined. I live pretty close to where I grew up, I’m sure this would outrage my younger self, but!
I make up for coming back to live in this town with the epic-ness that is our abode. Ice rink in the winter, #lakelyfe in summer, hot humid plant room (where Teagan and I spend winters), vid games galore, darts, art, fireplace, sun decks, fun neighbors, experimental cooking and baking, MY OWN STUDIO! I mean so much cool shit, not traditional, just however we want to dream it, with no one's rules but our own (& the HOA…)!
WUT A VIBE. ME, MY SIS & MY TRUSTY BOOMBOX TAPE/CD COMBO. L I V I N! [NOT PICTURED : THE LIFEBLOOD, OUR TRAMPOLINE] MEADOW LANE, WINTER 1997
3. ACCESS TO ALLLLLL THE CONTENT
Spotify, books, internet, movies, tv, records, archives, info...I mean I know we take this for granted, but think of how mind-blowing this level of access to content, celebrities, other perspectives would be to your younger self! YOUTUBE?! I LIVED for music, to not have to stake out MTV to catch a glimpse of the latest Hanson vid and record whatever parts I could hobble together on my vhs for repeat viewings on a loop?! What I wouldn’t have done! I was a VORACIOUS reader, but I was pretty limited on access and also content recs, relying mostly on school assigned books and chance scores at Off the Beaten Path Bookstore.
Fan Fic?! I had no idea! Combing Tiger Beat for scraps of intel on Hanson’s toothbrush colors...filling journals up with Hanson dreams. My younger self would approve & be awed. Maybe disappointed that I haven’t kept up with my Hanson craze, but thas how it goes!
4. WONDERS OF WEED
I was an ideal candidate for DARE. As a fierce rule abider, scare tactics work(ed) on me like a charm. Tho I did have a brief moment in ‘97 when I wrote a paper on legalizing weed...but my appreciation for the herb didn’t manifest until my late twents. I attribute my late acceptance of ganj to lack of relatable representation, but if I knew then what I know now… Things wouldn’t have always had to feel so heavy and burdensome. There’s also a bit of a built in community and my younger self could have used that. Now I have like 4 bongs, my fave glows and is beach themed and I order online, then walk to get my legal weed. I FUCKING LIVEEEEE!
BEAR IN MIND ‘97 & GWEN…APOLOGIES FOR MY APPROPRIATING WAYS. BRAIDS ARE BLACK, EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
5. 2021 MOI
I’ve come a long way, in a year, in my life, in my work. It’s all been built on from my ‘97 era self. That timespan resonates so deeply still, my formative years, of course I’ve grown, that was 24 years ago! GEEZUS. There it is. That is a little stunning, excuse me while I try to collect myself and finish this puppy out!
Maybe all this is say, I’m not all that different, after all I still listen to most of the same music I did then. Social injustice still enrages me and Rebpubys still are the fucking worst! I kept all the good stuff (musical & style & political tastes) while also figuring out how to do right by my curls (gave up the trying 4 straight lewk), found more representation, added a lil iggy side kick and a fun loving partner. Started choosing myself.
Beginning to build my own lil empire (out if car tires & chicken wire). Finding my own version of peace in the ever ongoing chaos, that’s something my ‘97 self would be way down with.
LEOPARD PRINT ON LEOPARD PRINT ON LEOPARD PRINT ! LIVIN MY BEST LYFE FOR MY 1997 SELF IN 2021
Thanks for taking this nostalgic introspective romp with me. Maybe you’ll consider taking one of your own and tracking how much you’ve really changed...maybe like me, not all that much.
